Hypervigilance at Home: 3 Ways to Calm a System Built for Survival

Situational awareness= survival

But what if you are at home, with your family, eating dinner? Of course you still need to be somewhat situationally aware however, that need is lower than if you are down range or on shift. I have heard many operators and officers over the years make comments generally saying "that's just the way I am" or "I have to be this way or I'll die." And while I do not disagree, it is crucial to survival, I always ask, "how's that working out for you at home?" Typically, not well. After riding over 50 hours with LEO over the past year, I have come to realize, the power is in the shift. We must work to shift back home from a deployment or shift on duty. When we utilize this approach, it allows operators and officers to be more present at home, build deeper connections with their families, and hopefully feel more rested.

Being Present

I have been surrounded by enough team guys and officers to know, this next one is going to be a hard ask. But I also would not encourage it if I didn't know the impact. Meditation helps ground our nervous systems and allow us to be more present in the moment. Five-minute guided meditations on YouTube are a great starting point. There is a great documentary on Netflix regarding meditation and its impacts if you want to learn more. The big takeaway being that the more you practice, the more effective it becomes. Acknowledging

Part of calming your nervous system is building your own insight. I know, I know, you don't have feelings. Cool. But you do have little nuggets of information that your brain hands you, colloquially known as emotions. This data assists us in making informed decisions. Become more effective of identifying and labeling this data, become more effective at quieting your nervous system. Know That You are Highly Trained

Need I say more? I mean honestly, I feel sorry for anyone that tries to mess with an operator, officer, or their families. Not because you are always ready to go, but because when something goes sideways, even if you are dead asleep, your muscle memory will kick in and you'll take care of business. You will figure it out.

Remember, I am "A therapist, not YOUR therapist" and I highly recommend seeking individualized care from a culturally competent clinician providing care utilizing an evidence based practice. These tips may help calm your nervous system, and they may also be the beginning of the journey.

-Lainey Crown, LPCC, NCC is a trauma and marital therapist, founder of ReFORGED, and a passionate advocate for military and first responder families. A 14-year Special Operations and Law Enforcement spouse, Lainey brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. She specializes in culturally competent care, suicide prevention, and performance-based counseling. Through her clinical practice and leadership roles, she designs programs that build resilience and empower service members and their families to thrive. Recognized as the 2024 Maryland and 2025 Alabama National Guard Spouse of the Year, Lainey is committed to transforming systems of care through advocacy, education, and innovation.