Regulating Your Nervous System while Navigating the Chaos

Long before I was a mental health clinician, I was a Special Operations spouse, knee deep in TDYs, deployments, and young motherhood while trying to forge my own path and not lose myself. Looking back now, I can see how dysregulated my nervous system was. Now as a seasoned spouse and therapist, I have been able to regulate my nervous system and I can now quickly identify when something is off.

Before we go any further, please remember I am A therapist but not YOUR therapist and anything I say should be taken in through that lens. If you are in need of a therapist, I am happy to point you to some resources. Also, while this information will have researched based backing, I will be sharing my own experiences- which may look different than your experience. Seeking care for your own unique situation is ALWAYS recommended.

Because I have taken the time to navigate my way from surviving to thriving, I am now able to recognize when my nervous system is thrown off. For me, I lose my appetite, I am emotionally and physically exhausted while feeling pressure to get things done. Could this be from the flight or fight response being activated? Yes. The opposite of fight or flight is rest and digest. For me, my body is so used to fight or flight, I manage it so well, I do not recognize I am in it during stressful situations. What I have recognized is over the next few days, I lose my appetite-and until I take care of my nervous system, I do not get it back. Also, I know that not eating the proper number of calories from healthy fuel sources increases anxiety- creating a viscous cycle if we allow it.

How does one re-regulate their nervous system? That can look different for everyone- super helpful, I know. For me, it is well rounded, protein heavy meals, making sure I am hydrating, prioritizing rest and making time for self-care activities. I know, I know, it is everyone's favorite line from us therapist- make time for self-care activities. What does that mean exactly? Well, it depends, what brings you joy? For me, it is connecting with friends and family, making something (such as painting, baking, or hand embroidery), distracting with a book, games, or a good standup comedy set. For others, it may be fishing, going for a run, playing video games, going for a drive, volunteering at the animal shelter, knitting, or watching a baseball game.

The big takeaway: notice when you feel "off." Then, just like a marathon runner has to take care of their bodies after a race, recognize after a mental or emotionally taxing event, you might need to tend to your nervous system so that you are ready for next week's adventures. The more you practice taking care of yourself, the easier it will be for your body to shift back into its neutral state.